I had a lot on my mind and my heart last week, so I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. While on my hiatus I went to Detroit to visit my family and I went to see my father. As he sits there in a semi-veggie state I ask him, if he knew who I was. Yes, he responded. Then I asked him, what’s my name? He looks at me like he wants to say something but nothing comes out. So we sit and stared at each other for about 20 minutes. Nothing was said we just sat there…So many thoughts going through my mind…So many questions I want answered, but I know nothing can be answered. At the end of the 20 minutes I got up to leave. Before I left out the room; I said to him, “I forgive you.” Then I left the room and got in the car. I told myself that I’m not shedding a single tear this time. Hopefully by saying I forgive him; it was my hope that I could wash my hands of the situation. I really need to move on from it, because it’s affecting my quality of life ….I just need a moment of clarity and I hope by showing forgiveness I will get that. It’s imperative that I find the clarity. Because I will not let this life event put a negative spin on everything else that going right in my life. Hell on Wednesday I weighed myself and found out that I am 30 pounds down.
However, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I couldn’t pull myself to celebrate. My first guest post went live over the weekend …and I didn’t feel happy about it. So for the sake of my happiness I hope that I find a resolve for this situation soon.
Until next time I’m 300 Pounds and Running
