So I busted out the pen and paper and thought about what people would say about me now at my funereal if I died today (as morbid is it is.. it really helped). A few things came to mind however I’m not going to discuss them. Then I thought about what I wanted people to say about me when I’m dead. Then came up with some fitness values that are in line with those things. Here are a few things that I came up with:
One of my fitness values come from life experiences, all my life I’ve been the biggest person in the room and by being the biggest person in the room there are certain things that I experienced and that I want to experience but couldn’t because of my size.
For example: I remember going to summer camp in the third or fourth grade and not being able to get a camp t-shirt nor a shirt with my team name on it because I was the biggest kid there. So when we had team challenges I was always stood out in more ways in one. The only black kid in the camp and I didn’t have shirt.
Not to make this a race thing but you have to understand where I came from…Detroit and the metro Detroit area is of the most segregated places in the U.S. The city of Detroit was about 99% black, however the surrounding cities were about 1% black and further you got pass 8 mile, such as 22 mile (yes there is such a thing), that number would be less than 1%.
So when I didn’t get a shirt at camp. I had to question is it because I’m the only black person here or is it because I’m the biggest kid here or is it both? I know now it’s because of my size but as a kid you don’t know and it makes you feel less than worthy either way.
I also remember the last day of camp where we had this obstacle course think Tough Mudder before it was cool. My team was in the lead throughout the race until we got to the last obstacle which was the wall. Being the biggest kid I helped everyone get over the wall but when it was my turn they couldn’t get me over. Eventually our team was disqualified because everyone i.e. me, didn’t make it through all the obstacles. The team blamed me for the loss.
Lately my friends and family members have mentioned, it’s been a while since I wrote a blog post and when am I planning to write on. I’ll usually respond with, “Soon!” Something so ambiguous that gives me more time to put blogging off. Then the question became, “Why are you avoiding blogging if you like it so much?” As I sit with a blank stare nothing comes to mind…
There is this feeling of emptiness resonating with me. I’ve completed one of my biggest goals, something that less than 1% of the population has done (run a marathon). So why do I feel empty? Empty like a brand-new piggy bank, empty like a car with on “E”, just plain emptiness!
Which may sound crazy until you experience it yourself. I spent so much time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears working on this goal. Then when I completed it I didn’t know what to do. Face it I feel as lost as I did when I walked in that doctor’s office for the first time.
As a man I muddle through these thoughts and feeling looking to find some meaning of all of this… Meaning of this journey, meaning of this blog, and meaning of my career. Needless to say your boy has done some soul-searching.
Fast forward to last week when I went to a training on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Weight Loss ran by Dr. Jason Lillis. The basis of ACT is letting our valuables or beliefs be to compass of our behavior. One of the questions that I brought up during the training was why values? Values are not SMART, meaning values on not specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, nor timely.
His response was the problem with being goal driven is what do you do with them once you reach them? You lose 100 pounds now what? You run a marathon now what? You get a PhD now what? However, values are theoretically unattainable but you can always work to reach them.
Think of your values as a direction on a compass such as, east. Whenever you are doing a behavior that are consistent with your values you are going in the right direction. So you’re going east. However if you are doing something that goes against your values you’re going in opposite direction i.e. going west.
Values and goals work hand in hand. Since there could be an infinite number of goals that can be consistent with a certain value. Values become a goal generator.
Then it hit me I’ve been looking at this journey with the wrong lens. Everything has been based on single goals and as I complete them I feel emptier and emptier. However if I based my journey on set values, it wouldn’t matter what goal I accomplished as long as it is consistent with my values…
I don’t know about you all but the make total sense to me.
So I’ve lost over 70 pounds, ran a marathon and been on TV multiple times. As a steady approach my goal weight/ size the question I’m now asking myself: What are my core fitness values and how does that relate to 300 Pounds and Running?
I think it time to go to the drawing board and figure out my values…And just like that it’s needless to say that your boy is back in business! 🙂
What’s up goal crushers? It’s the third week of the year; how are your goals coming along? Did you accomplish your goals for last week? I must say losing weighty is not a walk in the park. You are going to have trials and tribulations that are going to test how bad do you want it? It’s going to prove whether you kind of want it or if you want it as bad as breathing (Shout out to ET the Hip Hop Preacher). Anyways today I’m going to talk about the 4 type of people you need in your life to be success in your weight loss journey and in life. This is something that I learned a long time ago, and whenever I’m about to embarkon a new journey. I think about the people who are in my life and what role best fit their traits and personality. The 4 type of I’m talking about are the cheerleader, challenger, mentor, and mentee. Let me break these type people down for you.
A cheerleader is a type person that will always cheer you on no matter what. You lose weight? Great job! You gain weight? Aww that’s Ok, look at how far you’ve came. This person is relentless with the cheering and is great for your self-esteem because they will have you feeling like you are on cloud nine.
The next type person is the challenger. If the cheerleader have you on cloud nine. The challenger will bring you back to earth. The challenger’s job is to challenge you. This is the person who is always lighting a fire under your ass and more importantly they are always there to challenge you thoughts and thinking. This person keeps it real with you at all time and will not hesitate to tell you that’s a crazy idea. This is also the person who is always asking you why and how; when you say you are going to do something. Though they are not doing it irritate you. You might find that person irritating sometimes because you feel like you are always raining on your parade. Just know they want you to be best that you are.
After the challenger you need a mentor. This person has a wealth of knowledge of what you are trying to do. This person also has been around the block a few times. This person is great because they always have the right advice and it’s usually right on time.
The last type of person you need is a mentee. This person is a vessel that you will fill with all of your knowledge that you learned along the way to get where you are going. You will make their journey go by more efficiently because now you are the person who has been around the block a few times. You will take what you learned from your previous experiences and give them timely advice.
Cheerleader, challenger, mentor, and mentee; these are the four types of people that you will need to be successful in your weight loss journey as well as life. **Note** Sometimes one person can have more than one role. For example my girlfriend is my cheerleader and my challenger …mainly my challenger (jk!) but I also have other people that are strictly for cheering i.e. my mother and sister. I have a couple mentors and my mentee is all of you that read and follow my blog for motivation, inspiration, and information. Now it’s your turn leave a comment below stating who are your cheerleader, challenger, mentor, and mentee are.
The New Year is upon us; believe it or not 2013 is here! The new year is where most people attempt to make fresh starts by setting New Year Resolutions… you’ve seen these ambiguous resolutions before: “I want to lose weight,” “I want to do what makes me happy,” “I want to get organized,” “I want to quit smoking,” and etc. I bet you’re reading this and the thought of your New Year Resolutions came to mind. Me on the other hand I’m saying to the hell with New Year Resolutions! Yes folks I’m Anti-New Year Resolutions and you should be too! Why? Because only 8% of people successfully achieve their New Year Resolution; I bet after reading that quick fact, a flash came upon you, of all the New Year Resolutions that you did not achieve. You’re probably thinking you’re doomed…Well you’re right…You are doomed, if you are going fall for New Year Resolution trap again… Now, Now don’t cry because Martinus got your back.
How you ask?
I challenge you all to forget all about New Year Resolutions this year. When people ask; tell them you that don’t have any…They may look at you crazy, like “you don’t have any New Year Resolutions?” Tell them yes you don’t! Instead of having New Year Resolutions that are bound to fail, set SMART goals. Now I bet you thinking what are SMART goals Martinus? SMART is a pneumonic for having goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive.
Goals are evaluated based on the following criteria:
Specific: The goal answers the 6 W’s
Who: Who is involved?
What: What do I want to accomplish?
When: Establish a time frame
Where: Identify a location.
Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
Measurable: The goal answers how much, how many, and how will I know when I accomplish the goal. (When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.)
Attainable: The goal identifies the requirements to make it happen and constraints that may keep you from attaining the goal. You should ask yourself: How can I make this goal happen?
Realistic: The goal addresses conditions that would have to exist to accomplish this goal. (Think of the condition and you mindset) You will know your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished.
Time-sensitive: The goal has a start, mid, and end-date. Ask yourself:
When?
What can I do today?
What can I do tomorrow
What can I do 6 weeks from now?
What can I do 6 months from now?
Below is an example of a SMART goal in action
A general New Year Resolution would be, “I going to run a half marathon.” But a SMART Goal would say, “Beginning January 15, 2013 I will start training to run a half marathon and run it by December 1, 2013. Accomplishing this goal will help me live a healthier lifestyle. To ensure success I’ll commit myself to buying appropriate running shoes, joining a local running club/ hiring a running coach, running at least 4 times a week, and running a race at least once a month until I run a half marathon.
By setting SMART goals this will help you become more accountable for your goals. They will no longer be ambiguous; instead they will be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-sensitive.
Now that you have SMART Goals you might be thinking that you will need help with accountability. Now you know Martinus got your back on that too. Thanks to the wonders of social media, because we can help each other with our goals. I’ve created a group on Facebook called Crushing Goals Together… This will be a community where like-mined individual’s help each other plan, track, and crush goals. This will give us a place to:
Check-in and discuss our goals
Give and receive usefully information that can help each other accomplish our goals
Give and receive motivation and inspiration to each other
Let 2013 be there year where you say NO to the ambiguous New Year Resolutions and YES to goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive. Let plan, track and crush goals together, please join the Crushing Goals Together Facebook Group. If you haven’t done so please “Like” the 300 Pounds and Running Facebook Page, if you would to “Friend Me” you can do so here, follow me on Twitter @300lbsandrunnin.
Question of the day. What are your thoughts about New Year Resolutions? Do you make them? Do you achieve them? Also leave a comment below stating one of your 2013 SMART Goals.
This was right on time because I broke my glasses and they cost just about $500 to get them fix.
So from the bottom of my heart I really just want to say THANKS! Now on to the post…
This is the busy season for me. I have two presentations, a final and two papers to do. I have been cutting out some things like putting up blog post, responding to comments, working out, taking care of the house and not being a good boyfriend. All to stay on top of my school work… I know a lot of people are going to say, well school comes first. Yes, I think that school should come first but school is not who I am.
I am more complex than that and life is not all about school and work. Have you ever heard anybody on their death bed say, “I wish I would have worked a few more hours in the office?” No! They are usually saying I wish I would have spent more time with my family, travel the world, or did things that made them happy. I know you are all are thinking this is cool Martinus but where are you going with this?
Well something happened to me yesterday that changed my life perspective. A couple of days ago, I was feeling blah, I left out of my stat class with my brain fried. I sat there for 2.5 hours not knowing what was going on. I felt as if I was wasting time. I got two papers to write I should have been doing that instead. So after class I went to the office to eat lunch. So I’m searching through YouTube looking for something light-hearted to bring my spirits up. Instead I found something inspirational. I came across a video from ET The Hip Hop Preacher @Ericthomasbtc. He was talking to students about success. (I suggest everyone check it out) He was telling a story about a guru and a kid. The kid asked the guru if he could help him be successful. The guru said yes…Meet me at the beach at 4am.
The guru take the kid out to the beach and dunks the kids head in the water until the kid was about to pass out then he pulled the kid up. The kid asked , “Why did he do that – the guru said, “In order to be successful you have to want success as bad as you want to breathe like when I was holding your head under water. The guru asked the kid did you see how bad you wanted to breathe that’s how bad you have to want to succeed.
Wow, wanting and needing success is like wanting and needing to breathe. I thought to myself that’s a great story and I am motivated. Let me get back to writing this paper.
However, the message of the story didn’t hit me until I went to CrossFit later that day. (I know I haven’t given you an update yet…it’s coming…promise.) The workout was the toughest workout I ever did… The WOD was called whiner niner it was 9 rounds of 9 box jumps, 9 ring dips, 9 double under, 9 back extensions, 9 burpees, 9 dead lifts 9 mountain climbers, 9 push press, and 9 kettle bell swings and did I mentioned that this was timed.
While I was on my 5th round I just wanted to give up …..it was super tough. I couldn’t hardly breathe I’m grasping for breath. All I wanted to do is to stop and catch my breath. Then it hit me…When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe. “DAMN THAT’S DEEP” Here I am in CrossFit trying to relive some stress and I enlighten myself. I’m in CrossFit breathing heavy I’m uncomfortable but it’s not painful. So I pose myself a question to myself, which is more important to me right now… stop and catch my breath or pushing through the discomfort and completing this WOD. I choose to complete the WOD. I finish the workout in 46 minutes and 49 seconds. Everyone was clapping and congratulating me for finishing the workout but I was amazed how that message resonated with me. “When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe.”
During the car ride home I applied that quote to the current situation that I’m in. It’s a busy time in school…So what! Don’t let it stop you from your other responsibilities, being a boyfriend, blogger, business man, etc. Do all of these responsibilities matter to me just as much as breathing? YES…they do. Well make a way to get it all done Martinus, make sacrifices. Give up less important things to get the things that matter the most done. If y’all are not inspired by now I don’t know what to tell you but I know one thing I want to succeed as much as I want to breathe.
I want to thank ET the Hip Hop Preacher @Ericthomasbtc for being an inspiration to me even through you don’t know me. Being that I was born and raised on the east side of Detroit, MI and he’s from Detroit also… I can tell that his message is real and from a place of passion. I wish I could show him some support of something and buy his book but I’m on a graduate student stipend it does not leave much room for extra spending…
I know I haven’t been posting a lot but, lately I’ve been in a bad funk…School is getting crazy, I haven’t been running like I want to, and some days I’m lacking motivation…Man what is wrong with me? I don’t have anything problems with having a funk, because everyone has them once in a while. My problem is everything that has come with this funk…The self-loathing, feeling ashamed, lack of motivation and lack of confidence. Constantly questioning myself…Am I letting myself down?? Come on you got to snap out of it Martinus… This has gone on long enough…how are you going to get out of this funk?
Well the first thing I’m going to do is surround myself with people who are invested into me and we are going to hang out, eat good, and laugh. Secondly I’m going to switch up my routine… I ran my first 10K last week and I think it’s time to add CrossFit to my repertoire. Third, in the words of my home boy Santini, “I need quiet prayer and meditation in your life.” So I’m going to unplug myself from all of my distractions for a few hours, sit in a dark room, listen to myself think and reflect on how far I’ve came, where I’m going and how I’m going to get there. Lastly I’m going to read some inspiration quotes, maybe listen to some Joel Osteen… He’s always good to listen to when you are trying to rekindle that flame from within… I’m going to see how this works and hopefully this will bring me out of this funk. Before I sign off; I want to pose a question to you. How do you get out of a funk/ rut and what’s your favorite inspiration quote.
